By now every major team publication or website's team previews have been out for some time (Hollinger and Dwyer are my two favorites) so other than adding a funny line (as if I had any) or rewording a particular sentence there is not much I can add you don't already know about the upcoming NBA season.
So rather than go into the usual cut and paste, blog obligatory features (positional rankings, over/underrated and power ranking) or breaking down the game of our 12th man to its most minute detail, I thought I'd flip the script and create a preview even the countless number of sports bloggers could use.
So without further ado-feel free to add and contribute to the list-here is the annual preview of NBA team fans.
Dallas Mavericks
Strengths: Blonde hair and silicon. Lots and lots of Silicon.
Weaknesses: Delusions of grandeur. Reflect all the worst traits of irritating owner Mark Cuban. Knowledge of the game (?).
In the mind of the fans:
"20 and 10 last year? Nah, Duncan is washed up. Now Marion on the other hand!"
"Mark Cuban now has stats that tell us to think it was a good idea to dump an aging, has-been All-Star point guard for the ability to sign two never-were centers.
"Mark Cuban now has stats that tell us to think it was a brilliant idea to trade an up and coming All-Star point guard for what's left of Jason Kidd."
"Mark Cuban still tells us what to think."
Houston Rockets
Strengths: You don't mess with a billion Chinese.
Weaknesses: All-Star voting. Stop it with Tracy McGrady already. Damn you China!
In the mind of the fans:
"At least we don't have to worry about whether or not Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming will be hurt this year. D'oh.
Memphis Grizzlies(Editor's Note: after the offseason moves only the owner and players' moms remain as fans)
Strengths:
Weaknesses:
In the mind of the fans.....err....owner:
"Pau Gasol is overrated. Zach Randolph on the other hand!"
"Why does Chris Wallace keep giving me those death stares?"
"I wonder if I can trade Rudy Gay for Adam Morrison without getting more death threats from Gregg Popovich."
New Orleans Hornets
Strengths: Party with the best of them. Leads to a distinct homecourt advantage against less disciplined teams.
Weaknesses: Copying wrestlers Wooooooooo! chants.
In the mind of the fans:
"What the hell happened?"
"Is it okay to start ignoring our NBA team again?"
San Antonio Spurs
Strengths: Ability to celebrate championships without riots, looting, or setting fires. Eva Longoria.
Weaknesses: Live in the land of 1,000 taco stands and most of them hit up every single one of them on the way to the game. Any mention of "*".
In the mind of the fans:
"Jefferson and 'Dice are nice, but can we trade for the Suns entire training staff?"
"DuJuan Blair is the next Charles Barkley!"
"Holy crap...I'm sitting next to Eva Longoria!"
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